Dyslexia. - Commonly known as word
blindness, but it is actually more complex than this. I
do not recall much about learning to read, but I did have
considerable difficulty with this, and more particularly
with writing, spelling and mathematics.
For the most
part I can read well these days (though the tests show I
am still slow), however the way in which I read is not
the same as for non dyslexics, I still reverse letters
and words when reading and as often as not guess a word
by its context rather than reading the whole text. I am
not very good at reading aloud, but can scan and skim
documents quite well when overall accuracy is not a
problem.
My maths is
considerably worse, I cannot do the most simple of
calculations without recourse to my fingers or better
than that a calculator, and have used some sort of
calculating aid since my school days. This comes as a
surprise to most people, because they wonder how I manage
shopping, well the answer is simple. I don't, I rely upon
trust to get the correct change, it is surprising how you
can get by. I have a good understanding of other concepts
such as geometry and statistics though, and one of the
advantages of being so ignorant is that I will check up
and refer on anything I am not sure of, rather than
assume I know it.
I am good at
anything which requires a visual manipulation of
information, as with most dyslexics my strengths lie in
visualisation. I do not think they had a proper concept
of dyslexia when I went to school, as they did not link
my late reading with poor writing and mental arithmetic,
I was considered to be lazy or not trying hard enough. I
was mistakenly put into examination classes for foreign
languages, because I had some flair for them. Oral maybe,
but grammatically speaking I was flummoxed and did not do
well. Mais je parle un peu de Francais meme si je ne
comprends tout. (and don't blame me for the mistakes in
that)
Asperger's
Syndrome. -
is a form of high functioning Autism, There are certain
characteristics like avoiding eye contact, and being
hypersensitive to touch, and hearing, which I have always
suffered from, even if I was not aware that they fitted
into a broader pattern.
Part of the
pattern of Asperger's, is not being able to read or
reciprocate non verbal communication, in fact I do not
seem to understand it, nor do I fit in well with
conventional social structures. At school I was described
as a lone wolf, and very inward looking. Today I am more
outward looking but not well comprehending of a lot of
the social subtleties that go to make up normal
interaction.
Apparently
people with Asperger's also have obsessive and narrow
interests which they will pursue to absurd lengths
regardless of whether anyone else shares their interest.
This fits me too I am afraid, some people would call this
the ultimate geek/anorak train spotter syndrome. but I
would beg to disagree as nobody likes to recognise this
in themself, You may think I am as guilty as the Ancient
Mariner in Coleridge's poem of boring a captive audience
to tears with my specialist interests however
obsessiveness can be useful as well, take computers for
instance most people just use them, I can strip down and
rebuild mine. I will leave you decide whether my various
past obsessions qualify as such when you read my
autobiographical pages, however I do have a second to
none knowledge of my special subjects, because I pursue
everything with an exacting purpose, and commit
everything to a long term memory database you would not
believe. I have an amazing ability to remember facts that
I squirreled away as long as thirty five years ago, once
I have committed a visual image to memory I never forget
it.
You can see the
benefits of this attention to detail in my CV, where I
have achieved far more than is normal for someone, who
for seventeen years was ostensibly outside of society
functioning as a carer for a severely disabled
mother.
Dyspraxia.
- is Greek for not being good at
doing. Dyspraxia is also called DAMP or disorders of
attention and motor perception in some European
countries. For the most part dyspraxia relates to having
poor motor skills and clumsiness. This oftens goes along
with Asperger's or Dyslexia. As I grew up I confused left
and right, anticlockwise and clockwise as my brain
imperfectly understands these concepts. I was no good at
sports, could not catch a ball, or balance well. Today I
am a messy eater, and I spill things and drop things, I
am terrible at D.I.Y. and if shelves stay up they are
invariably crooked.
Part
of the difficulty I have with writing is not being able
to make the movements necessary to write and draw neatly.
This has been a devastating blow to me, in that because I
could not draw well enough I was never allowed to pursue
any artistic path at school. It is very frustrating as my
visual skills are in tact, and I enjoy the arts immensely
as you can see from the rest of my web site. Until the
computer came along all of these artistic skills were
locked in and not capable of expression, but now with
computer graphics and desk top publishing my superior
abilities are able to come to the fore.
Dyspraxia
varies from person to person, and there are many people
who cannot ride a bike or drive a car, I am fortunate
that I can do both of these, although learning to drive
was an experience I would not like to repeat.
I
have features of attention defecit as well which are
usually confused with dyslexia in this country. In the
United States ADHD or Attention defecit (Hyper Activity)
Disorder exists as a seperate diagnosis which is only
recently coming to be recognised in this country, mostly
amongst children. In my case attention difficulties shade
imperceptibly into the wider developmental condition
which comprises Asperger's syndrome. Attention defecits
whether they exist as a seperate disorder or part of a
wider pervasive pattern lead to distractibility. The
corollary of distractibility is hyperfocus, I am either
one or the other, easily side-tracked and confused by too
much going on around me, or totally oblivious of anything
but the narrow task I am fixed on. In everyday life this
is a nuisance as I am very very forgetful and always
losing things, I have to check very carefully when I go
out, to make sure I have everything with me. I have
always had a short fuse, and I am afraid I was never a
rule follower at school, you could say that problems of
attention and focus did not help me much at school
either. I am lucky in that I am otherwise highly gifted
in that without this compensation I would not have coped
nearly so well as I did, reaching University through
strategy more than pure academic performance.
All in all I am
no stereotype of any one condition, but the product of
them all, combined with the additional uniqueness that is
me. I do not run with the herd, and am not afraid to come
to different conclusions. I would not want anybody to
apply the conclusions of this page to themselves as you
are you and I am I. I am a divergent thinker first and
foremost therefore I find the poem
by Robert Frost quoted on my introductory page
sums up my particular perspective in life very
well..
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